Healing in the wild: how one woman’s solo travel and conservation journey, accompanied her long road of grief

Following the death of her husband, Tina did the only thing that made sense to her – to do what she loved the most…

Explore the world and work with animals through conservation

In this beautiful and deeply personal interview, Tina shares how the lifelong love of travel she shared with her husband became both a comfort and a source of healing after his death.

What began as a shared passion — exploring new cultures and discovering the wild together — has evolved into a solo journey of reconnection: with nature, with purpose, and with herself.

From volunteering in African wildlife sanctuaries to rediscovering her strength on the road, Tina’s story reminds us that even in the rawest ache of loss, the world can still offer moments of peace, wonder, and quiet companionship.

Thank you Tina!

What was life like before the death of your husband?

We had a wonderful life together

My husband Daren and I were together for 27 years. We met at Portsmouth Harbour in 1995. I had just qualified as a nurse and I was going to work at a school activity centre in France for a year. Daren was my contact, and the assistant centre manager.

Our first date was on 14 Feb 1995 and he died suddenly 27 years later on the 14 Feb 2022 – he always knew how to make sure I would never forget him!

We both had a healthy interest in travelling – Daren has travelled fairly extensively through America and Australia before we met, and he became my best travel buddy, taking me to countries I always dreamt of seeing.

Children never happened for us, so we filled our time with extensive travel across the world. Always being adventurous and intrigued as to the wonderful cultures, sights and sensations of the amazing countries we visited. From India to most of South East Asia, New Zealand, Australia and the South Pacific and short haul long weekends across Europe.

We had a wonderful life until his health started to deteriorate following spinal damage. We still enjoyed long haul holidays, courtesy of flat beds, but they were relaxed beach stays to enable us to reset and energise. Gone were the city breaks of exploring, as they took so much walking.

We always wrote a travel diary together, and when we took a year off work for worldwide travel in 2007/2008 we wrote a blog, to keep in touch with friends and family back home. Daren was such a brilliant eloquent linguist and many years later on rediscovering our blog, I made it into a book with all our travel photos, for his 50^th birthday – such a treasured possession for me now.

What were the early days of grief like for you? How did it affect your sense of self and direction?

I just didn’t know how to be me anymore

Daren was in Spain when he died, he was recovering from major surgery the year before and had to learn to walk again. I was his carer, whilst working back in the NHS having moved into medical education and wellbeing.  After an incredibly challenging time through COVID and with exciting opportunities ahead with external partners wanting to work independently with me, we agreed some winter sun in Spain would help him focus on his rehab, whilst I stayed home and juggled my NHS work and setting up a consultancy with my first project.

He died in his sleep at a hotel, from a pulmonary embolism and I found out through a phone call from the local police.

The first year was just full of trauma for me, taking 6 weeks to bring him home and final confirmation of his death. I went through all the stages of grief in all different orders multiple times and was pretty much a mess for the year. I felt totally anchorless and blamed myself for him dying alone.

I left my job, I couldn’t look after myself let alone the 5000 staff, who had themselves been through horrific journeys during COVID.

The thing about the death of your soul mate/ partner / spouse is the secondary losses. The plans you had for the future. I was 49 and we had agreed that I would retire at 55 so we could spend more time together. All of this was lost.

I was with Daren from the age of 22, I felt that he had helped mould me to who I was. He had been there to support all my life choices. He was my sage, my companion, the person I laughed and cried with.

Other losses included my plans to finally starting up my own business, something I had wanted to do for years. I was excited to be turning 50 and to be in charge of everything – and then all of a sudden you are in charge of nothing – your life, your emotions  – everything has collapsed.

I just didn’t know how to be me anymore – and to be honest 3.5 years later that’s still a bit hazy and challenging.

Great friends and family got me through that first year, as well as an excellent trauma psychologist.

What inspired you to begin travelling after your husband’s death?

I felt Daren with me every step of the way

Daren loved Christmas, I could not bear to be in the country at that time. I wanted to be busy, not celebrating. We had both loved animals and had discussed that if we ever won the lottery, we would travel the world supporting conservation activities and ensuring we could work there hands on, as well as just giving money.

So, I looked around at volunteering opportunities and saw a great experience in Namibia working in a wildlife sanctuary. I could travel to Cape Town first, which had always been on our bucket list and spend 4 days exploring, before hopping on a plane to Namibia for 2 weeks.

Friends thought I was incredibly brave, for me it was just the better option than being in England.

I treated myself to upper class flights, I had money saved for the holidays that I had to cancel when he died.

I was terrified when I had to go. We had 2 rescue cats, and one, Smudge, was Daren’s cat. They were inseparable – Smudge would get Daren out of bed when I went to work and often when I came home they would be sleeping together on the sofa or back in bed. Smudge had grieved as much as I had, not making sense of where his best mate had gone, and why he had suddenly disappeared. So, how cruel of me to leave him. But I had the best neighbours you could hope for, and one moved in to look after them both, so I knew they would be in brilliant and safe hands.

I cried as I boarded the plane, my first long journey alone. A wonderful young lady next to me was so kind and the overnight flight flew by.

I was okay when I came out of the airport. My pre booked taxi that the guest house had booked didn’t arrive, but I didn’t panic. I got an uber and made my way there. It’s as if a traveller’s autopilot within me just turned on, and my mind and body knew that being in another country was nothing to be scared of and something that I could just do.

The guest house was fabulous – I had taken my time to read many reviews from solo travellers and look for a location that was central, and where I could walk to restaurants in the evening.

I felt Daren with me every step of the way in those first 4 days whilst I explored Cape Town, which has become one of my most favourite cities in the world, and one I have returned to several times since.

The guest house held onto half of my luggage, as I was returning there after Namibia and off I went to one of the most amazing experiences of my life – a wildlife sanctuary in Namibia.

Every day was different, cleaning small orphaned animal pens, to the larger lion enclosures. The highlight though was walking the orphaned baby baboons – fantastic!

I spent Christmas eve and Christmas day alone. They had a wonderful hotel nearby and I treated myself to a beautiful room and stay.

I met such wonderful local people as well as fellow volunteers from across Europe. I was on average 20-30 years older than them, but they welcomed me into their groups and we laughed – my goodness did I laugh. I thought of Daren often, especially as I was still counting how many months he had been dead for, and on the 14 December it was 10, and it was hard. My new friends knew why I was there, and I could be sad and quiet without needing to explain myself, but they also picked me up emotionally and I got through month 10.

3.5 years later we are still all in touch, and I hope that continues.

Do you travel solo or with others? If you travel with others, is it important that you find time to be alone?

I love South Africa so much, I just feel like I am at home

I have continued to volunteer in conservation work since then, and I travel alone. Obviously, you are not alone once you get there, as there are other volunteers, but I just enjoy being around people who don’t know my past and therefore can’t see how different I am now.

Every new experience has been great and full of laughter, and I love South Africa so much, I just feel like I am at home.

I have also travelled to some European destinations with one of the women I met in Namibia. She like me is happy with being quiet. We can spend our own time alone, and don’t feel we are being miserable, and then spend days together.

Alone time is important to me now, as I’m alone at home. I find noise too much.

In what ways has travel helped you process or live with your grief?

Grief has to become part of your life

Travel has allowed me to tick off the bucket list places that we always wanted to do. I feel like I am experiencing things for the both of us still and I love that.

I always feel connected to Daren so it hasn’t particularly helped with that, and I think grief has to just become part of your life. Your body holds it, your mind and emotions hold it, it sits with you constantly, but for me independent travel allows me to hold it more comfortably.

I’m always thinking about how much Daren would love this, or hate this, or not be able to do this.

Have there been particular places that felt healing or transformative for you?

Uganda was emotional and incredibly transformative

South Africa definitely feels like somewhere I belong. I can’t explain it, but in January I volunteered in a wildlife rehab sanctuary in the northeast of the country and it just felt like being at home. So much so that I am about to return in November.

In July I went to Rwanda and Uganda to tick off one of our final bucket list items of trekking to see highland chimps and mountain gorillas. That was an incredibly emotional experience, as it meant so much to us both.

The treks though were challenging and the realisation that Daren would never have been able to do it in the last 10 years made me feel better that I was doing it without him.

Sitting there opposite a huge silverback and his family was quite frankly utterly bonkers!

But my god when you looked into their eyes – you could see humanity, grief, hope…and it was just the most incredible experience I think I will ever have, and one that I am eternally grateful for.

And Uganda – what a country! In all the amazing, beautiful countries I have visited, Uganda was stunning and it stole my heart – that trip was emotional and incredibly transformative.

Do you feel like travelling changed how you relate to your memories or your ongoing connection with your husband?

I want conservation trips where I can feel useful

I don’t think it has. It is lovely to properly travel again, rather than beach holidays. I can remember how much I looked forward to nothing more than booking 2 weeks on a beach, and now I am not sure I could. Why? I think maybe because I have so much quiet time at home now and I no longer have Daren to care for, that I want conservation trips where I can feel useful and where I am making a difference.

For the European short haul holidays, I think it is always in the back of my mind that I am only doing these now as Daren isn’t here. He wasn’t well enough to be able to walk around and explore cities like we used to. So it could be seen as helping my ongoing connection – continuing a shared passion.

What are some of the biggest challenges you faced as a solo woman grieving?

You can’t run away from grief

I don’t feel like I have faced big challenges in terms of travelling, as I just love it. I have always carried out lots of pre-trip research, and friends always said I should be a travel advisor as I loved doing it for us and them so much. I have therefore always felt prepared for my trips.

Yes, there are of course the nerves of when you first join a conservation project and wondering whether you will you get on with people, especially as I’m usually the eldest; but I have a young heart, fit body and use humour a lot to connect with people.

My hardest trip was doing the garden route in January in South Africa. I wanted to self-drive it all and I didn’t see why suddenly being single should stop that. I booked the car hire, but did come to the realisation that it might not have been the wisest and safest choice and had to give up some independence over my itinerary by booking a hop on/ hop off travellers bus. But you make it work.

The garden route had been on our bucket list for years and twice we were close to doing it until more spinal damage occurred to Daren. I didn’t feel Daren at all on that trip and that was upsetting, but the quiet time enabled me to work out the reasons for it, so it was all good in the end and I think that’s what is important. I realised it’s best not to ram your days full of things – you can’t run away from the grief. I needed some rain and cancelled tours to allow me to deal with it.

I continue to write travel diaries on my trips, so some emotional journaling definitely helps me manage emotions as they hit.

Have you discovered strengths in yourself you didn’t know you had before?

Well as someone who could never take a complement, I know I am not going to answer that one but I can say friends seem to be blown away by what I have done, and often say post travels that I don’t take the easy path and I challenge myself. For me though, being out of the UK in a bubble is so much easier than living life here without Daren.

Have you met people during your travels who impacted your journey of healing?

Animals feed and heal my soul

Yes people, but for me probably more the animals.

Animals feed and heal my soul. Standing next to an elephant at a sanctuary and just looking into its eyes and soul heals me and puts me at peace. I want to do all I can to ensure that they have a peaceful life, free of the threats that come with human existence.

Anyone I meet who makes me laugh also heals my soul – god it makes me feel great, deep guttural laughing.

Do you ever feel a sense of connection to your husband while traveling?

Always, he is in my mind 24/7. As I mentioned earlier, there is not a part of the trip where I don’t think would he like this / hate this or more often I just have an internal monologue with him.

Have you found rituals or ways to honour his memory while on the road?

Good question, not really. At the end of year 2, I went to visit my friend Kathy in Hong Kong and we went to a temple. Daren and I are both atheists but have Buddhism tendencies and lighting some incense and praying to him was incredibly emotional. I think I tend to steer away from those emotions now, they are too painful for me. I think I honour his memory by just continuing to travel and experience all these places we had hoped to visit.

What would you say to someone experiencing deep grief who is considering travelling solo?

Be brave, know you will cry, but embrace it

I think you have to make sure you have travelled before, have some comfort and knowledge of what it is like to check into an airport / navigate an airport, go to restaurants etc.

I think if you know it could be healing to you then absolutely do it. Be brave, know you will cry, but embrace it. Do your research so you are confident of where you are going to stay.

If you haven’t travelled alone before find a solo travel organisation first off to book through, so that you have full support.

What advice would you give about choosing destinations, pacing oneself, or finding emotional support while travelling?

Choose a destination that speaks to you

Choose a destination that speaks to you, somewhere you always wanted to go to. Probably a country that speaks your native language is going to be the most helpful, you want to know that you can be heard and understood.

If you don’t know where to start, book something with an itinerary. Most tours now have days / times where there is down time.

Do though think “can I handle being on a bus/tour if there are people I don’t like” – you are going to be with them for a long time, and in those first few years I certainly hated nearly every human being that dared to be alive!

I am not aware of any specific companies that support widows, but for my volunteering I use The Great Projects and they have pages which show the best experiences for the older person Wildlife Volunteer Projects and Tours | The Great Projects

How has travel changed your relationship with yourself

I probably like who I am more when I travel, although that was more to do with feeling so alone and anchorless at home. Now 3.5 years in, loneliness sits better within me and I am probably less lonely being alone than I am with people around me. I am more content on a day-to-day basis.

Has travel done that or is it just the grief timeline? – that’s difficult for me to say. Independent travel has helped me realise that my inner explorer is still very much within me, and my sense of adventure, my love of nature and my desire to make all wild animals feel safe and protected is integral to who I am.

I think that being able to connect with any small part of who you used to be, and thus still are, is definitely super helpful.

Do you see travel as part of your life long-term, or has it served a specific purpose in your healing?

Most definitely yes, as long as I can afford it. If I could be the next Jane Goodall or Dian Fossey that would be amazing, but unfortunately I am too old, too un-educated for that now. I will though continue to work in conservation overseas and actually now in the UK as well, with my new job. There are many cities and countries for me to visit, and I will keep doing that for as long as my body and mind lets me.

What does healing mean to you now, after this journey?

travel became our family, and it has been the thing that is healing me

It’s an ongoing process that will never end. It is about expanding your horizon of being in your house, in your street, in your town /city and the dullness of life that can be.

It is about meeting new people, smelling new smells, seeing new landscapes, tasting new food and finding that place wherever it may be, that just overwhelms you with a sense of happiness, calm and love.

For some that is being at home surrounded by your children/ grandchildren. Daren and I didn’t have that family of our own, so travel became our family, and it has been the thing that is healing me.

Is there a story or moment from your travels that stays with you — something that sums up what this experience has meant?

Not one specific moment above what I have already mentioned. I think it is anywhere I have been where I just stop and think “Wow Daren, can you see this, its bloody breathtaking” and I cry, as I am now just writing this.

It’s the sadness that your person is not there to experience it, but the happiness that you are. And you hope that they are experiencing it with you and perhaps you can feel their hand in yours, or them next to you and they are saying “ its bloody great isn’t it – great job Tina – keep going, I cant wait for where we are visiting next”

What’s next on your journey — in travel, or in life?

So, South Africa again in November, this time for 4.5 weeks – my longest amount of time away from the cats. 2 weeks marine and shark conservation volunteering and back to the wildlife sanctuary for 2 weeks after.

I have no plans for 2026 yet. I am loving my new job doing conservation and nature education to school groups – helping me focus on the UK. But it’s definitely the bigger picture that drives me and talking about and getting youngsters passionate about worldwide conservation is as important.

For now, whilst I have my gorgeous cats I will take it day by day. When they have passed in years to come, I can imagine renting out the house and spending 3-4 months in South America and South Pacific is calling.

My favourite place in the world was Bali, and I always wanted my ashes sprinkled out there so perhaps a trip back there to see if it keeps top place, or has indeed been replaced by Africa, which currently has my  heart.

Thank you so much Tina!

Volunteer with ‘The Great Projects’

If this interview has captured your heart, and you’d like to learn more about conservation work with animals, visit ‘The Great Projects’.

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Trusted Housesitters

I met Tina while looking after her adorable cats, Smudge and Gizmo, through TrustedHousesitters. When I learned about her story and began receiving updates from her journey through Rwanda and Uganda, I was both inspired and deeply moved — and knew I wanted to share her story on Orchids to Olives.

TrustedHousesitters is a worldwide community that brings together pet owners and travellers who care for homes and animals while exploring new places. I’ve met some truly lovely cats — and people — through it.

Discover more here

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Orchids to Olives

Journeys of self-discovery, wisdom, healing and friendship