Travelling solo as an Introvert (and why we’re great at it!)

“Our culture made a virtue of living only as extroverts. We discouraged the inner journey, the quest for a centre. So we lost our centre and have to find it again.” Anais Nin

Do you consider yourself an introvert? Yes? Me too…in that case, you may find solo travel provides the perfect antidote for living in this highly extroverted world of ours.

My experience: from worrier to intrepid introvert solo traveller

“Solitude matters, and for some people, it’s the air they breathe.” Susan Cain

Sorrento, Italy 2010 – As I slowly breathed in the rich tang of heady citrus blossoms in a Sorrento lemon garden, tears glistened as it began to dawn on me how much I’d craved quality time alone. I was 37 and this was my first ever solo holiday and it was the first time, in as long as I could remember that I’d had a whole week purely for myself. In the warmth of that Italian spring, I savoured every single delicious moment from waking up in my charming single bedroom to gazing at the radiant turquoise ocean, as the sun set over the magnificent Vesuvius. It was my first glimmer and a gentle prod of realisation that in order for me to grow, blossom and truly be myself I needed periods of solitude.

Prior to this holiday, I had spent many years trying to fit in to what I perceived as ‘normal’ – the world of social gatherings that prized showy behaviour and confident chat, and workplaces that valued team-work. Yet, it exhausted me!

I’ve always preferred spending time with a few close friends or just with my own good self. I can spend hours…days…delightfully wrapped up in my own company and I rarely get bored.

In university and then at work, I detested having to work in groups. My brain simply doesn’t work to its full capacity when I’m surrounded by lots of people. Yet leave me work alone to work quietly, at my own pace and my brain ticks along nicely – thank you very much!

For many years, before I figured out and accepted that I was the personality type labelled as ‘introvert’ I thought there was something wrong with me…which doesn’t do a lot for one’s self-confidence!

It wasn’t until I read Susan Cain’s brilliant book ‘Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking‘ that, like many others, I outwardly embraced, celebrated and welcomed the label of introvert. It gave me permission to fully be myself. (If you haven’t read this book or seen Susan’s Ted Talks I’d wholeheartedly recommend them – they’re full of – ah ha lightbulb moments.)

As Susan eloquently discusses in her book, we live in a world that places great value on extrovert characteristics and much of modern society is built around an extrovert ideal from our schooling to the workplace, to the way we socialise. Therefore, many introverts spend much of their lives trying to fit in to a world that seems at odds with their natural way of being. Considering half the world’s population is made up of introverts – this is pretty crazy, and not to mention unfair.

I am of course vastly over simplifying Susan’s comprehensive book and there are many facets to any personality type. However, the point is that once armed with the knowledge that as an introvert my brain is wired differently to an extrovert’s, I understood why it functions better and why I am revitalised when I spend time alone and conversely why I feel over stimulated and exhausted when surrounded by people for too long.  Suffice to say that this enabled me to become a more confident happy whole woman.

It also made perfect sense why I loved solo travel so much and why you find so many introverts travelling the world.

Why introverts make great solo travellers!

There are many reasons why introverts make great solo travellers. Here are some of my reflections after a decade of solo travel:

A vast expanse of quality alone time

“I have to be alone very often. I’d be quite happy if I spent from Saturday night until Monday morning alone in my apartment. That’s how I refuel.” Audrey Hepburn

Introverts recharge by spending time alone and it goes without saying that travelling solo offers abundant opportunity for solitude from the very minute you set foot on your adventure. Journeys on trains, planes, ships and buses provide hours of pure adulterated nothing to do time, other than to read, write or simply watch the world go by.

I’ve always savoured ‘the journey’ sometimes enjoying it more than arriving! I like the feeling of being in between places; where there are no expectations and no one knows who I am, I can simply just be. I also find inspiration can strike when I lose myself to daydreaming in an airport departure lounge or flying half way across the ocean. Poems and insights drift into my consciousness without any need for beckoning.

And delays, what of them? A few more hours reading and people watching have been granted free of charge!

Then there’s the time spent doing exactly as you please in your chosen location, whether this be lazing on the beach, hiking, visiting a museum or simply resting, reading, reflecting and recuperating on your balcony. It just doesn’t matter, there are no rules. It’s just you.

Self-sufficient is my middle name

I like figuring my own stuff out, in fact I’m pretty bad at letting someone else take control. Maybe this is less an introvert trait and more a control freak trait! However, many introverts are very self-sufficient and thus planning travel agendas, working out timetables, figuring out where to stay and how to get there etc etc… is no great feat…and if you’re like me, you’ll probably even enjoy it!

Queens and Kings of blending in and observing

Many introverts, including myself, are not interested in being the centre of attention therefore we are natural chameleons at blending into our surroundings and observing the life around us. This is a valuable skill for many reasons, but purely from a safety perspective if you avoid sticking out like a sore thumb, you’re less likely to be the target of unwanted attention.

Introverts are also often keen observers. We tend to be acutely aware of our surroundings and pick up on subtle nuances which enrich our experience and understanding of places.

Dipping in and out of socialising

Whilst I love spending time alone, I also love interactions with fellow human beings! The beauty of travelling solo is that you can choose when to put on your social butterfly hat, and then when to hang it back up.

What’s more while many introverts find making new friends tricky in ‘normal’ life, they find it significantly easier on the road where the usual social barriers melt away. Starting up conversations with fellow travellers often comes naturally because we’re on the same wavelength.

There are many many ways to meet new people from Airbnb experiences to organised tours, and of course chance meetings along the way. I personally always try to join a yoga class; this offers the opportunity to meet like-minded people whilst maintaining my yoga practice.

For more great tips on how to meet people when travelling solo read here.

Forming lasting friendships

“Let’s clear one thing up: Introverts do not hate small talk because we dislike people. We hate small talk because we hate the barrier it creates between people.” Laurie Helgoe.

Many introverts find small talk and pointless conversations hard work, but they love to listen, engage in conversations that have depth and really get to know you. Therefore, whilst we may not be high fiving anyone and everyone along the way, when we do meet people we connect with, those connections can form long lasting fulfilling friendships.

For me, this is one of the absolute joys of venturing out alone. The chance to meet wonderful people from all walks of life.

The simple joy of eating alone

Travelling and eating go hand in hand. Well I think so – it’s one of the great pleasures of discovering a new country! A common worry for many considering a solo trip for the first time is the thought of eating out alone, and the idea that they may miss out. However, more often than not introverts are far more comfortable and adaptable with dining out alone.

Eating alone has never really fazed me. I’ll happily order a three-course meal with wine in a restaurant or pop to the local hawker centre and take immense pleasure in sampling the many scrumptious delights on offer.

If eating out alone is something that makes you nervous, see my tips on conquering eating alone fears.

It’s Liberating!

Whether you are an introvert, extrovert or ambivert travelling solo is liberating. It is your time. You can be exactly who you want to be. What could be better than that?

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So these are my reasons, based on my own personal experience, as to why I think introverts make great solo travellers. I’d love to hear what you think. Please share your own experiences in the comments below.

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For more posts on solo travel read:

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